So, can we ever expand and grow as individuals if we remain in our comfort zone? Can we achieve and reach destinations we have never tried to reach before or go to places we have never gone before if we are not able to get out of our own comfort zone? When you choose to get out of your comfort zone you will most likely feel fear and uncertainty.

This is when how you think and the approach you take affects matters the most! You can be like the lizard – always afraid and uncertain of what may happen if you move forward and therefore very willing to retreat at he slightest noise or you can use that burning desire to reach that destination! You can choose to move forward toward your goal even with your feeling uncertain and afraid! Even if you have to change course several time, as long as you are making progress you will finish successfully!

In the process of overcoming our fear and doubts, we expand our comfort zone, our confidence and our strength. Now as we move forward, our subconscious sees our success and so the next time we travel down this path we know we have done it before and can do it again. When this happens the fear factor plays a much smaller role in our decision making and confidence starts to play a larger role.

A good way to look at this is when you first began riding your bike or driving. You were scared at first and uncertain but as you rode or drove you began to expand your comfort zone and feel confident. Now you can do it without even having to think about changing gears or using the car pedals!

People who achieve large in life – the Bill Gates, the Steve Jobs, our war heroes, firemen, policemen and so many others all have and do experience fear but the difference is, and one of the things that leads to their ultimate success, that they do not allow these feelings to stop them from reaching their destination or goal. They become more successful by moving forward out of their comfort zone and in the process become more confidant and unstoppable in their own minds and therefore in reality.

So the question remains – will you allow your uncertainty and fear to hinder beginning or continuing on your journey to reach your goal or will you feel these emotions, acknowledge them and still choose to keep moving forward toward your goal?

After some time, Mr. Lizard became comfortable enough to start to move a little more freely, after having stood absolutely still for about 15 minutes and having made zero progress. Lizard starts his journey with a sprint as he moves forward in the direction of his destination.
How often do we start off all psyched and are completely focused on our goal and then…

Then it happens! Something catches his attention and he freezes. In a moment of indecision he looks to retreat and then scrambles back to where he started. Have you ever had a moment of indecision or fear which paralyzes you, bringing with it the doubt and uncertainty of whether my decision was right and maybe cause you to stop or to retreat back to where we started – having made zero gain!

Lizard now freezes in place and waits again until conditions are right to restart on his journey. You have to give him credit for not giving up! This time he gets about a foot from his starting point and freezes in place. A person is walking by. As the person approaches, he high tails it in another direction, a direction opposite of his destination. Perhaps, one of many possible distractions in life? Do you ever get distracted from what you are doing and does that distraction ever take you off course or take you away from making progress toward achieving your destination or goal?

And yes, there are obstacles that do get in our way and sometimes these obstacles, whether actually there or just in our heads, cause us to give up and look for another opportunity or perhaps an easier journey, then another and another – never reaching our final destination in any of them! We start and we start and yet we never finish? And we always with a good reason! Have you even seen this happen to someone? Maybe someone closer to you then you are willing to admit?

Well let’s find out in the last post of The Lizard and the Goal!!

The other day while I was in the pool a lizard caught my eye and he (or she – I couldn’t tell) got me into ponder mode!
I was intrigued as I watched my lizard friend for the 45 minutes I was in the pool (I know, I need to get a life). The way he moved while trying to reach his destination made me think about what a lot of us do in our own lives! How and why could I possibly compare a lizard to a person, you may ask? Well, I will tell you!

The lizard’s journey began by his looking and then determining where he wanted to go – his end destination or goal. He moved his body in preparation to head in that direction and then froze while he looked to make sure it was safe to start. He stayed motionless waiting for the perfect conditions to occur before beginning his journey. He waited, he waited, he waited and yes – he waited!

After all, he needs to watch for predators, there is the danger of being baked in the sun, what if a person does not see him and steps on him or what if another lizard wants to have a confrontation on the way to his destination? All legitimate sounding concerns, aren’t they? As a result of these “legitimate” reasons for not proceeding, our scared, hesitant and unsure lizard is stopped even before his journey has begun!

Have you ever talked yourself out of doing or starting something and then validated it with several “legitimate” reasons? Have you ever wondered what would of happened if you had started on that journey? How about regrets for not grabbing an opportunity that presented itself because you had reasons not to at the time? Has the right time come yet?

Something to think about until we continue this story in our next blog!!

My name is Ron Dilbert and we look forward to bringing interesting perspectives and information to help you and your families! Please feel free to make comments, give feedback and suggestions for future blogs and to offer to write a blog post to share your thoughts and your experiences.

Military Families 1st was created to help strengthen our military families by sharing effective and proven tools and techniques to better equip them for the challenges that come with each transition that accompanies deployments.

As a result of our families being better prepared to address the upcoming challenges, they are able to become closer and more connected at a deeper level. Consequently, our families are empowered and are able to utilize what they have learned to stay together as a family and to continue to support each other throughout each of the phases of deployment.

Our goal is to make a significant impact on reversing the record number of divorces, suicides and the growing number of homelessness among our Veterans. In addition, Military Families 1st is working hard to help address the unusually high rate of psychological challenges facing our families today as a result of deployments.

You may ask how and why I have taken on this mission that has grown from a personal mission to a shared mission among many. That is a very good question!

I have been through extensive training to become a trainer and a coach and have always felt a passion for helping families. When I was a child I remember watching the firemen putting out a fire caused by a lightning strike at our home and going above and beyond to go back into the house to rescue our aging dog.

I felt that pang to serve early on and at the ripe old age of 15 I had an opportunity to become a Junior Fireman and jumped at it! At the age of 18 I transitioned into the Freeport Fire Department, serving 13 years as a fireman, until I made my next transition into single parenthood.

Once I received full custody of my one year old son, John, I decided to leave the fire department and get into a safer hobby – now that my son was always in the back of my mind.

Having gotten turned on to training in the computer field, I began to participate in more trainings and began to apply these new learned skills into helping single parent families move forward with their lives from a place of feeling confident, focused and powerful, instead of a place of feeling weak, confused and helpless.

As I got deeper into working with single parent families, my organization began to receive calls from military spouses. Most calls were similar in content – my husband or wife just deployed, we were taught all the logistics of deployment and now I am a single parent and can you help me to do this?

As we worked with the military families via coaching, we soon realized that they required more help and guidance. They needed tools to help them through the challenges that these deployments were bringing to their homes.

I remember growing up with my Dad, a WW II Veteran who was a paratrooper in the Pacific Theater, and the challenges we faced as a family. My Dad would actually leave the room whenever we put on a war movie. He rarely spoke of what happened and when he did, it was always at the 30,000 foot level. These experiences, among others, with my family had already set the foundation for my strong desire and passion to help other military families!!

It was at this point, November 2009, when Military Families 1st was born. We currently are working with military families via workshops and through personal/family coaching. We are successfully reaching out for sponsorships to help pay for our workshops and multiple day retreats. Our goal is that no family is ever denied the ability to attend our events because of financial reasons.

We have worked with units in Arkansas and Oklahoma, as well as providing our families opportunities to go out as a family, as a couple, with teens or with little ones. We have partnered with organizations to give opportunities to our families to attend performances in the arts, musicals, Broadway shows, concerts, and many other forms of entertainment and recognition.

We look forward to helping you in any way possible – whether by workshops, coaching, other resources, referrals or opportunities for you and your family to get out for a break from the challenges life sometimes brings.

I look forward to meeting you and appreciate any feedback and ideas that can make our programs and events even better.

We welcome all feedback to help increase and give more value in the ways we can help you and your family.

If I can be of assistance, please do not hesitate to reach out.

Next time you attend one of our events please come up and introduce yourself!

Have a wonderful day and I look forward to working with you and your family!

I thank you in advance for your trust in us and for your willingness to reach out for help and for opportunities to go out and have fun!

With all my best,

Ron Dilbert

Founder / CEO

Military Families 1st